I will begin by painting a picture of how I came to write this post. I am in an underground coffee shop called The Attendant which literally is a toilet. (I later hear an enthusiastic dad say to his daughter: “It [the coffee shop] was sold in 1989, it must have been a cafe for years!” Maybe the hipsters were here the whole time but they were just underground. In toilet coffee shops.) I don’t know if it’s the surroundings of loo’s or if some planets are in retrograde or simply karma but I’ve spilled two things in the
space of 30 minutes here. Yes, I am that person. Tragic. I was sitting in the corner, trying to get the perfect coffee drinking selfie snapchat. (Yes, I am that person. Tragic.) My hand slips and BAM: coffee all over the table, seat and less importantly: laptop. I found that my laptop is quite durable, its travelled with me across different countries and been dropped in most of them and we’re still going strong. So, when the Spanish girls beside me looked in horror at my now brown coloured laptop, they rushed to get tissues and help me. Nice. Everything calmed down and the Spanish girls said their nice goodbyes. I begin to write this post and felt the table simply wasn’t close enough. I tried to pull it closer to me (note: tables here are screwed to the floor on closer inspection afterwards). I tried to move the table and in my effort, accidentally pushed the massive bowl of sugar onto the ground and in, what seemed like, sloooow motion, the milk jug closely followed the sugar to make it just so much more difficult to clean up. The doctor couple, who replaced the Spanish girls, rushed to get cloths and help. Nice. And the coffee maker didn’t seem fazed at all, having to kneel on the ground and clean up after me. I felt bad but he was cheerful. Nice. I think this is what Miley Cyrus was talking about when she wrote that song, you know, she walked into a cafe in central London, spilt some sugar and ended up like a wrecking ball. That’s how that song goes, right?
So, you can imagine how I feel now when I am about to write about N R G. I feel stressed out even just retelling that story. Don’t let my energy stress you out. This is a tiny little coffee shop and anyone who’s been here longer than a half hour could rightfully feel like I’m ruining the atmosphere with my haphazardness. I am affecting their energy. But no one seems that annoyed really that I am invading their personal with splashes of hot coffee or sprinklings of brown sugar. That’s just a tiny ripple in the ocean of energies. But this is the question I am asking today: Who’s energy is this?
This word might seem a bit waffly for you. Energy. If we see energy as more than just physical, more than just having the energy to go to the gym or getting more energy from an energy bar or energy drink. More than a persons vigour. These are things that we can experience but what about the energy of a room? You’re in a room full of people who are one of or have all of these qualities: highly strung, stressed, panicked, worried, concerned. Or my own unique word for this: Frazzle Dazzled. Not to be confused with Razzle Dazzle (verb: to go out with your friends and have a very merry time.) Are you frazzled dazzled today after meeting your boyfriends parents for the first time? Will you be frazzle dazzled next week when you go to that doctors appointment? It just sounds better than the above words, it gives worry or stress more glamour.
Anyway, I’m talking specifically about other people’s frazzle dazzles. When someone in work is really worried about an upcoming presentation to new clients and you, not directly involved in this presentation, are worried about it too. Or maybe you are involved with it but you’re not a stress head. This is prime time to say to yourself or anyone who will listen: Who’s energy is this? Asking yourself this question makes you quickly come to the realisation that what’s happening in the world around you doesn’t have to effect you. Obviously, try not to remove yourself completely from the world and become blasé about everything. Worry about the things that matter. You don’t have to get stressed out because James who sits next to you has a big meeting and is pushing his energy onto you. You don’t have to accept his energy. Of course, you can be empathic towards his situation, you can and maybe you should try and make him feel better. But don’t let his energy bring down your energy. I am a bit stressed right now because of the conversation I am overhearing in this cafe. One guy is in the middle of moving house and the soilictors aren’t keeping up with the paper work for the move AND he has a week and a half to film an advert for Ikea which was orginally allocated 2 weeks. Wow, stressy. Who’s energy is that? His. Not mine. And breathe. It’s so easy to get caught up in other people’s lives, even strangers!
We are living in the age that gives the Syrian War as much space on the online newspapers as Kim Kardashian’s outfit choice. sigh. We are living in the age where the Daily Mail is the most visited English language newspaper website in the world. sigh. We are living in the age where six-year-olds have the same level of knowledge of technological devices as the average 45-year-old. sigh? We are giving our energies away to things like reality tv stars and gossip websites and iPhone apps. Even if we aren’t consciously giving our energies away, we still are. Is someones outfit choice as important and relevant as a war affecting millions? The answer to that question is: it is the media’s energy who make millions by ‘creating’ the news cycle. We’re being tricked into giving our energies to less important things. There has to be something on the front page, right? But if there’s nothing really happening, then what happens to the front page? Something less meaningful gains more meaning. Who’s energy is that? *Poof* That energy can disappear.
Give your energy to things that are really meaningful. Whatever that means to YOU. Are you at peace when you’re outside cutting the hedge? Or reading an autobiography of Steven Gerard? Or going to sit with your elderly neighbour for an hour? I’m not trying to make us saints here but try to remove yourself from the energy that is affecting you negatively and replace it with something that can improve your energy in a postitive way. If James at work is bringing you down with his energy, remind yourself: that belongs to him. It’s not yours. And continue on with your own work.
You being affected by his/her energies is chaotic. You being you is peaceful.