Short Thoughts

Is counting outdated?

Apple think that the 100 year old headphone jack is prehistoric. But it’s OK, they have a really good reason for thinking this. What company, in their right mind wouldn’t think this after having their shares drop to near two year low earlier this year, dropping to £62 in May this year compared to £100 share price in May last year. That’s quite a big difference when it comes to shares. From my experience in the oil business (sounds fancy – it’s not) even a decimal point of difference can ruin your day never mind £40 of the difference over the span of a year. Of course, Apple want to grow and expand and beat their competitors. Who wouldn’t ditch a free accessory and replace it with a new, modern, sparkling set of wireless EarPods. The best part: this new product, previously non existent, will only set you back £159. Great idea, Apple heads. Their share price has actually risen again to over £100 in September after the announcement of the new iPhone and AppleWatch which is promising for Apple but not for our penniless pockets. If it’s not broken, fix it anyway?

Going along with this madness, I have decided that, like my now antique headphones, I want to update our units of measurement. Counting is boring. The imperial system versus metric system has run it’s course. Kg or pounds or stones, who cares? We all know that 1 is bad and 10 is good. Let’s add a little imagination.

Scales: no longer 1 to 10 because that is just predictable and most commonly you will say 7. No more! Try this instead:

“On a scale of 1 to a small child in a toy store being told they can have whatever they want, how excited are you?”

Or a step further:“On a scale of the local convenient shop down the road (who sell knock off Sainsburys’ produc

ts) to Whole Foods Market, what is your budget?”

Or my own original and favourite scale:75024aa37c4c3e741840942d722ff711

“Ona scale of Sugar Pine to Walnut, how tan would you like to be at the end of the summer?” (answer: Atlantic White Cedar).

Veering away from scales, how about:

“I’m going to make a notebook out of these pages and it’s going to be a month long”.

Or:

“I’d like my hair to be cut to the equivalent of 3 months growth”. (Good luck to my hairdresser…)

Maybe these questions distress you with their winding ways and you end up with the same answer as how long is a piece of string? How many buses really do pass when we say men are like buses. I don’t know. Maybe counting isn’t outdated at all and we just need to shake up every once in a while. I’m sure Pythagoras got bored of his theorem sometimes. Maybe you think that this way of thinking is childish and immature? Maybe it is but children usually have the most interesting ways of thinking. Let’s be curious and eager and observant.

We just need to add a bit of creativity to these outdated practices instead of getting rid of them altogether, right Apple?


Petition to rename ‘Monday Mornings’ to’ Monday Mournings’.

Once the grief of the impending Monday has been denied on Saturday, the frustration of Sunday afternoon arrives. Next is the bargaining of Sunday evening and then the depression of the Monday morning alarm. We can finally accept Monday around 3pm on Monday and happily get on with our week daze/days.