Today is December. That might be a scary for you because 2016 is all but over. (No one really counts December anyway, do they? Basically just a time to get drunk with your colleagues and your friends and your family. Far too blurry to count, am I right?) Or it might be a great because 2016 is all but over. (‘Thank god for that’ I hear people say, about time that these 12 months we call a year are over.) If it didn’t feel long enough, we had to add an extra day on in February as well. Great. As we roll into December, it gets increasingly harder to roll anywhere: out of bed, into work or anywhere outside the cosiness of the bedroom now that it has started hitting sub-zero temps. The neighbours are quickly defrosting their car windows whilst simultaneously eating a slice of toast with marmalade and feeding the cat and doing a handstand and folding laundry AKA seemingly being very productive AND YET, there are still school girls running around with skirts and no tights!! Bare legs when it’s -3° at 8.15am! Although, I do vaguely remember doing that myself in similar temperatures and people giving me the same horrified look. Now I’m the one with two pairs of trousers on. Life’s just one big circle, innit.
The rapid decline in heat has me fearing the worst: the dreaded winter cold. You know the one: unable to breathe through your nose (how thankful for your nose breathing are you after a cold though? So thankful), coughing and spluttering into your hand (eugh), watery eyes as if you’ve just watched The Notebook for the 33rd time. I’ve come up with a solution that has thus far worked to stop the cold in its tracks: 4 apples and fresh ginger (a lot of it) juiced. You know those little shots you can buy in Pret? They are about £2/£3 (extortionate) for two mouthfuls. I make my own apple and ginger juice with so much ginger there is a mild burning sensation in my throat. This sensation along with the magical powers of fresh root ginger kills all the bad guys. Winner, winner, chicken dinner. So, as we face the next month (or 4) bundled up, I thought I’d bundle up some alternative news from 2016 because we’ve all heard enough of boring elections and the Kardashians and Co, surely?
- Leonard Cohen dies shortly after a beautiful letter sent to his muse, Marianne Ihlen, who died earlier this year, describing his peace with death: “We are really so old and our bodies are falling apart and I think I will follow you very soon.”
- Banksy graffiti appears in prestigious Knightsbridge, opposite the French Embassy, showing his stance on the use of tear gas in ‘The Jungle’ refugee and migrant camp in Calais. The art included a QR code that links to a video that appears to show teargas and rubber bullets being used during a raid at the camp, bringing graffiti into the 21st century.
- Lady Gaga wins Most Beautiful Cow award in Germany in which they judge 200 actual cows and rank them in order of beauty. The cow that won was called Lady Gaga. It was the second time she claimed the beauty pageant crown.
- A solar powered airplane flies for three days non-stop without any fuel. Big steps for lowering our carbon footprint.
- Google Maps rename Trump Tower as ‘Dump Tower’ in an act of online activism… and later apologise for it.
- More than 1,000 Indian Runner ducks are set loose on a vineyard in So uth Africa to find and eat thousands of snails and other insects who feast on vines. This reduces the amount of pesticides used at the vineyard and gives the ducks an excuse to waddle twice a day.
- Whilst the U.K. was mourning the loss of its ties to the EU, Bulgarian artist Christo creates a masterpiece called ‘The Floating Piers’ on Italy’s Lake Iseo. The public can walk between Italian mainland to two small islands: Monte Isola and San Paolo. And it only cost $16 million for this path.
- In more scandalous news, the Queen herself is seen in a supermarket. Horrifying. But it was a Waitrose not Morrisons so I suppose one can be forgiven. I don’t think she could afford to buy anything from there either.
- It was announced that the Pope is set to visit Ireland in 2018! The last time a pope came to Ireland in 1988, a key political leader (Ian Paisley) was thrown out of Parliament for calling Pope John Paul II the ‘Antichrist’. I wonder what fun will happen in 2018?
That’s basically everything you need to know about 2016. Now we can all get on with the drinking and being merry until January. Then no more merriness for another 11 months.
I’ll leave you until next time with this picture of a doggie I’d like to be when I grow up:
Peace to the Middle East xox